Episode summary
When 'Feelings Are Data' To Navigate Clients' Financial Planning Trade-Offs - Kitces & Carl Ep 196
Summary
Carl argues that feelings should be treated as data, not as a distraction from analysis, especially when financial decisions are made under uncertainty. He describes a personal decision process that starts with rigorous pros-and-cons work and then includes a second check: sleeping on it, noticing whether a knot in the stomach remains, and then hunting for the reason that the body is objecting.
He says the body often spots relevance before the brain can explain it, and that what feels wrong may point to something concrete the spreadsheet missed: family trade-offs, culture fit, hidden fear, or a value conflict. The host agrees that the real question is not whether to trust feelings blindly, but how to interpret them as another input in the decision.
The conversation broadens to client work, where Carl says advisors can ask “How does that feel to you?” instead of only “What do you think?” That small language shift can surface the missing piece in planning conversations and make it easier to uncover the trade-off that actually matters.
Key takeaways
- Carl says feelings are a legitimate input in decision-making, especially when financial planning choices are made under uncertainty.
- The host argues that the body can register a missing consideration before the mind can articulate it, so emotions should be examined, not ignored.
- Carl’s practical test is to do the analysis, sleep on it, and then ask what the gut reaction is actually signaling.
- Carl says advisors can surface better client conversations by asking, “How does that feel to you?” instead of only asking what clients think.
- The point of the feeling check is not blind intuition; it is to uncover hidden trade-offs like family time, culture fit, or fear of regret.
Notable quotes
“feelings are a legitimate form of data in human decision-m especially under uncertainty”
“the body often registers relevance before conscious explanation”
“How does that feel to you”
“Feelings are a sort of information when making judgments”
“the skill is not necessarily trust your feelings, which you've been pointing out. The skill is interrogate your feelings”
How the episode opens
Well, greetings Carl — Michael Kitsus. So fun to talk to you today. — I am I am excited to talk to you today. — Let me ask you something. How are you feeling? — How am I feeling? — Yeah. — Um, honestly, like I'm feeling a little bit tired. Uh this is as of our recording, we're still end of spring, beginning of summer, which for me is like the tail end of spring conference season when we have like a whole slew of industry events one week after another after another. And so, uh I've been road warrioring for the past five weeks or so and still have two left before
I finally get to hang out at home and not not go to an airport for a month, which I'm really excited about. So — Nice. feeling feeling a little bit drained right now with all the stuff going on. — Yeah,
Overall work life balance is actually pretty good on the whole, but — Um busy season is still busy. It makes the light season more appreciated. Busy season's still busy. It's a little tiring. — Yeah. How does that I mean actually quite curious now. Um when you feel tired, what does that actually feel like? Does it feel like
Where in your where in your body like what what what happens? Describe feeling tired. — Uh feeling tired. I think it's for me it starts with like my brain just doesn't want to think anymore. Like I would like to
Sit down and be able to do something very mindless that I do not need to exert — Any like particular brain energy towards. Maybe it's playing a light video game. It's watching a show with the kids that does not require me to think terribly much.
From the episode’s captions: roughly the first two minutes, lightly cleaned. Keep watching on YouTube →
Topics
- client communication
- feelings vs data
- financial planning trade-offs
- gut feelings
- asking clients about emotions
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Summary, takeaways and quote selection by Octagon. Quotes are short excerpts; the full conversation is in the episode.
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Financial Advisor Success (Kitces), this episode and its artwork belong to Michael Kitces. Octagon is not affiliated with the show; this page is an independent summary.